Logan is not going to be a big brother....yet

Logan had an appointment on Friday at his new Dr. It's the doc he's been assigned to from the Community Health Plan. It's nice cause it's super close.
WIC advised me earlier in the day I could get my birth control prescription refilled at his appointment.
The Doc was fine to do it but, said she would need to pee test me first just to make sure. I thought nothing of it. Then the nurse walked in the room with a concerning look on her face! I thought maybe she was messing with me. Then she looked from me to the Dr and said "Um....there's two lines. I mean, the 2nd line is like super light.. but, still....there's two". I couldn't do anything but nervous laugh... it MUST be a joke I thought.
Then they blood tested me to make sure. They said the results would be in Monday morning.
So, I went home and fell into Jeremy's arms bawling. His first reaction was that something was wrong with our baby. "Cassie.. hey, what's wrong?? Caaassssie...talk me please... what's wrong.. what happened?" "I might be PREGNANT." I howled.
     "Is that all?? It's okay...why are you crying??" "Cause I MIGHT BE PREGNANT! I don't wanna be pregnant yet." hello!
His thoughts were.. well, if we are it is what it is and if there is another baby in there we gotta take care of it and be happy.

All weekend I wondered and waited. I knew that my body was just NOT ready to go thru another pregnancy and labor. Plus, that would make our babies be about 13 months apart. Ridiculous. Not to mention the financial aspect. And most of all I was really depressed that I would be done making babies so soon. I loved being pregnant, and I totally LOVE having a baby. And of course we want Logan to be a big brother.. ONE DAY. That day is just not yet. Jeremy wants two and strictly TWO babies. So, the thought that my babies would be so close in age and I would be done with babies so soon really made me sad. Also, I knew it was not fair to Logan. He's our baby and he totally deserves his own time in the limelight. We would like about a two year age difference. It would also mean "missing out" on another summer. No traveling.. no camping.. no nothing once again cause of caring for a newborn.
So, whew boy am I relieved.
I was also worried what people might think of me. How my family may react. How irresponsible to get pregnant so soon. I am so grateful to just be a mommy of ONE for now.
Jeremy was dead set that if we had a boy he would name him Renegade Sly Betts. So...like I said THANK GOODNESS WE'RE NOT PREGNANT.

Doin the daycare thang

So, I needed to bring a little money into the household. Looking at our financial situation there was I few options I could pursue. I could try and go back to work full time. Meaning I would need to put Logan into full time day care, stressing about being away from him, worrying about getting him to take a bottle, being sad, and bringing home about $500-$800 a month after gas and daycare costs. Or I could only work on the weekends when Jeremy was home. Which still meant worrying about bottle feeding and having to pump on the job. Boo. And still looking to bring in just $400-$700 a month.

Or I could take the same route my mom took when my bro and I were babies and run a little daycare out of my own home! Ding Ding Ding. I put an ad on craigslist and talked to my sis about what's fair to charge for a home day care. I didn't get a lot of bites at first and the lady I met with initially just wanted a few sporadic days to be covered when she didn't have family to watch her daughter.

   But, the next momma I met with was a perfect fit! First time mom, just like me. And approaches childcare for her daughter the same way I would for Logan. She keeps using me more and more, and always tells me how much her and her daughter love me. It can be a little tiring watching two babies but, I feel so great that I am now bringing in a little money. Not only that I get to be home all day with my sweet little Logan. I get to nurse him and care for him and witness all his special silly moments. I am soooo happy. Being a mom.. a stay at home mom.. was what I was meant for.